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This website is designed for women who would like to feel beautiful as they age. We will be posting articles and excerpts from the book, The Beauty Paradox, written by Dr. Vivian Diller and Dr. Jill Muir-Sukenick, two psychotherapists who were once professional models. Check out our blog to learn our views about beauty and the psychology of aging.

The Beauty Paradox Website and book are guides - psychological maps women can use to help free themselves from the confusing messages they receive about beauty as they age. Women are told to “fight and defy their age” and that “old is ugly” which inevitably leads to uncomfortable, anxious feelings about their looks. On the other hand, they’ve also been told beauty is just skin deep and superficial, important only to silly vain women and “dumb blondes.” Women who let youthful beauty matter too much feel less beautiful as they age and women who deny its importance also feel less beautiful as they age. This is what we call the Beauty Paradox. It is possible to redefine beauty as a woman ages, if she learns to create an internal balance between letting it matter, neither too much, nor too little. We would like to help women explore beauty and aging not only as a physical process, but an emotional one as well. Through understanding the interplay between these processes, women will enjoy their changing appearance rather than fear these changes as they age.

The Beauty Paradox defined: Paradox means “two seemingly contradictory thoughts that may in fact be true.” The Beauty Paradox means the more beauty matters to a woman and more she tries to hold onto it, the less beautiful she feels. Beauty matters to the modern woman, yet it is not supposed to matter to her too much. This is the paradoxical message a woman receives about beauty throughout her life, and it is especially problematic for her as she grows older. When she enters mid-life and begins to show physical signs of aging, she may anxiously attempt to hold onto her youthful appearance and, as a result, feel less beautiful. On the other hand, if a woman doesn’t acknowledge that beauty matters and needs to minimize beauty’s importance, she loses healthy opportunities to maintain her looks and enjoy them as she ages. In spite of her need to convince herself that beauty doesn’t or shouldn’t matter, she, too, can’t avoid the inevitable changes in her appearance that affect her self esteem and, as a result feels less beautiful. This is The Beauty Paradox.

Dr. Diller and Dr. Muir-Sukenick will encourage women to look at themselves and their experience of beauty from the inside out. We believe that every woman who resolves the beauty paradox for herself will achieve balance and perspective and feel beautiful for the rest of her life.

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